Dom Titles: How to call your dominant partner in BDSM

In BDSM, we love to give sub and dom titles and kinky names to call each other.

Whether you fall in the daddy & babygirl category, refer to your dominant as master, or chose to be the lady of the dark, the choices are endless.

Here, we have collected the best Dom titles to give to the dominant in your dynamic!

The best Dom titles in BDSM

Here are the best Dom titles for men and women in BDSM.

“Sir/Madame”

The classic title for dominants is still Sir or Madame. Used throughout the BDSM scene, in books, movies, and at play parties, you can never go wrong with this one!

They are effortless to incorporate, easy to remember, and a great advantage is that they are not as noticeable by outsiders when used outside.

Coolness rating: 5/10

“Master/Mistress”

Often used in dominance and submission play and scenes, Master and Mistress are strong words to call your dominant partner.

They indicate stronger devotion of the submissive partner, as well as greater power exchange dynamics.

Coolness rating: 7/10

Daddy/Mommy

“Who’s your daddy?” is a phrase often found in jokes, pop culture, and even as a threat among “vanilla” or non-BDSM people.

However, many people love DDLG (Daddy-Little Girl) play and the title Daddy or Mommy is super common.

Even though it might so like it, it is not reserved for age play only and is frequently used in general BDSM play. It shows affection for your dominant part, and that you trust them to protect you.

Coolness rating: 6/10

Dominus/Domina

Coming from the Latin word for “master” or “owner”, Dominus and the female equivalent Domina are perfect for those who want to display great affection, as well as discipline.

As the “owner”, the dominant’s powers are great and these titles are often found in TPE (total power exchange dynamics), as well as in professional dungeons. Here, the Dominatrix or Dominus usually prefer them as they are seldomly confused with more intimate ones like “Daddy”.

Coolness rating: 9/10

Lord/Lady

Lord and Lady are titles that have indicated power, control, and ruling class since ancient times. As such, it is no wonder that they are also used in BDSM play.

Not everyone will like them and they are less common than most others on this list. However, who would not love to be called “Lord“?!

Coolness rating: 6/10

Alpha

Being an alpha is the ultimate wish of many dominants and of course, the name invokes exactly these feelings.

Coolness rating: 9/10

Sensei

Sensei is an honorary name in Eastern Asia, and especially manga and anime fans will know how much power lies within this word.

The literal translation is “one who comes before” or “person born before another” and indicates an age gap between submissive and dominant partners. If this is the case between you and your partner and you share a passion for Asian culture, this is the perfect title for your dominant!

Coolness rating: 8/10

Other Dominant titles in BDSM

While the ones above are the most common and arguably the coolest ones, here are some others you might find interesting:

• Count/Countess
• Mister
• Chief
• Sire
• Boss
• Coach
• Liege
• King / Queen
• Duke
• Marquis
• Viscount
• God / Goddess
• Owner

As you see, the list is endless and there are countless more names and titles you can give your Dominant.

How to find the perfect title for the Dominant

The easiest way to find the perfect honorary title for a Dominant is to ask them what they like to be called and use that. You can also use one of the common terms used in the BDSM community or pick a name that you both connect something with.

Most Dominants will have a title they like most or feel most confident with.

In that case, it is great if you can agree on using that right away.

If you are still looking for one, use one of the names above for inspiration or look for even more suggestions.

You can also pick a title and use it for a while and change it if you feel like something else would fit better.

Do I need to use an honorary title for my Dominant?

No! You don’t need to use any special title, term, or name for your Dominant at all. As long as all partners are comfortable with it, you may just use their real name, or a pet name for each other.

It seems like every BDSM and kinky forum is full of threads like “I don’t know how to call my dominant partner“, or “I don’t feel comfortable when my submissive calls me XYZ“.

Let’s make it super clear one more time:

You don’t need to have titles for each other to be in a BDSM relationship.

Using an honorary name, or refusing to do so, is also NOT a sign of lacking devotion or submission, and simply the fact that you don’t want to use a title.

A title is only worth as much as it means to everyone involved and there is no use in using a title if you don’t believe in its meaning and significance.